Fade to Green
by MaskedScissorDoll
Summary: Spoilers for Deathly Hallows.  Snape adjusts to his new surroundings.


It had always seemed unlikely to Severus that he would make it into heaven. Sure, he'd worked for the good guys, but had he really done it for the right reasons? Did the good he'd done outweigh the bad? He had never thought so. He was certain that even in his repentance he condemned himself to some kind of punishment or another. The idea of a "good place" or a "bad place" had never really factored in to his personal beliefs or ideologies. Mostly he had preferred not to think of what lay beyond the grave.

In the wizarding world, it was not known what happened when a person died, good or bad, provided the person didn't become a ghost. It was a mystery that even the ministry seemed unable to unravel. He couldn't bring himself to wonder what had become of Lily Evans Potter, and the few times when he did dare to hope she was in a better place he'd never imagined he'd find himself there with her.

Thus, it was with a great deal of shock that Severus Snape found himself in heaven. The last thing he had seen in life had been Lily's big green eyes, and now they were the first thing he saw in the afterlife. He knew it was heaven the moment he saw her smiling face. Her long red hair rested over her shoulders, and she was dressed in muggle clothing. She hugged him tightly and said, "You never cease to amaze me. I've come here to wait for you 6 times now, not knowing how apt you were at cheating death."

"I'm so sorry... I failed you again and again..." Severus sighed. He turned his head to keep her from seeing his distress, only then realizing that there was a room around them. Or it might have been a room, if it hadn't been so enormous and white. "I tried so hard to keep him from his fate... I failed you."

She was shaking with what seemed to be a mixture of apprehension and extreme excitement. "You remembered me, all that time. You took care of my most precious treasure. Thank you, Severus. If it weren't for you, I don't know what would have become of-" She swiveled and then she looked back at him. "If we're not careful, you'll miss your-Well, however you're getting there!" Severus gave her a peculiar look. Perhaps this was not heaven after all...

"So you're not going with me?" he asked, trying not to sound pathetic.

She swiftly replied, "I have one more thing I need to do first, but I'll see you again very soon, I promise, and then you can tell me about all the things I've missed."

It only occurred to him to ask her where James Potter was after she'd already disappeared, to where he was not sure.

And then a muggle taxicab pulled up to where he was standing in the enormous whiteness of it all. He jumped back slightly, then realizing it could do him no further harm, examined it for a moment. It didn't look all that unusual from the outside, and when the horn honked he realized he was meant to hop right in. He opened the door and stepped inside, not giving it a further thought.

It was only when Remus Lupin growled at him that he realized his mistake. "How is it that you ended up here, Snape?"

Snape did not bother to answer him. Lupin struck at him wildly, but non of Lupin's attacks meant anything to him. The were both dead. There was no point in violence here.

Severus sighed, saying, "All was not as it appeared. You both died at Hogwarts?"

Tonks nodded sadly, and Severus understood why immediately. He'd heard that a child had been born to the Lupin family, a child she would not see again for a very long time in the best case scenario. He realized that this would be a very uncomfortable ride, but he was relieved to discover that there as no pain in this place.

At least, the pain he felt wasn't physical, it wasn't inflicted by Lupin's fists.

There was something hollow about being here. Something cold. Wonderful though it was, to be reunited with Lily, he knew things would always be strained. He knew that if he and Lily were there, so was James Potter, and he would be with them eternally. Actually, he would be with Lily eternally. Severus couldn't imagine that he'd be allowed near her. There was a certain amount of shame in dying nobly for a woman who was another man's wife.

And then Severus realized something. Remus Lupin looked considerably less bedraggled than he had when last Severus had seen him. In fact, if he had to guess, he would say that Lupin looked at least fifteen years younger, and in considerably better health than Lupin had been in fifteen years ago. It was a curious thing to see, a teenage werewolf where a coarse looking older gentleman should sit.

Severus had the presence of mind to look at his own hands. They were without callouses, without scars, without burns... Every mark that he knew was gone. Had there not been others in the car with him, he would have felt of his hair.

And then Tonks confirmed what he both hoped for and feared. "Snape, what happened to your hair? It looks... I dunno, fluffy."

He could no longer resist. His hands flew to his hair, and sure enough, all of the neglect of ages had been, dare he think it, washed away by death itself. "How bizarre."

"Bizarre is right!" Tonks said, wiping her face on her white robe's sleeve. "I don't think I've ever seen your hair look so alive. Ironic it would wait until after we were all dead."

"Haha." Snape sneered, ineffectively.

"So you were one of the white hats after all," Lupin remarked. "How did that come about?"

"I'm sure you'll hear all about that soon enough..." Severus whispered, gloomily. He was not looking forward to spending eternity straightening out what had happened to whosoever decided to ask. Why start?

"Far enough," Lupin said, as the cab came to a stop. The doors opened themselves, and outside there was a line of people. Spirits of people, anyway. There were already some recognizable faces there, the faces of those who had died at Hogwarts.

And then he saw Sirius Black running towards him. He took a step back, but Sirius stopped before he got to Severus chosing instead to speak to Remus Lupin in a hurried and frantic manner... And then they both disappeared suddenly, leaving him standing next to Tonks in line.

Tonks took in a deep breath and then asked, "Where do you think they went off to?"

Severus replied, "Haven't the faintest."

"Ah," she said, "I should have been more careful I guess."

Very surprised and somewhat annoyed by her sudden outburst of earnestness, he couldn't help but ask her, "Whatever makes you say that?"

"I have a young son. And he needs me. I left him without his mother... If I had been a better mother, I would have stayed behind."

This almost angered Severus. "Lily Potter died, leaving Harry without a mother. I wonder if you would say that she was a poor mother?" he hesitated, but then went further, "I think you did the best thing you could for your son. You tried to make the world he lives in a safer place."

The line moved forward a little bit, and Severus turned away, trying to avoid looking at her brightening face. It was embarrassing to look at her like this.

After a good long while, Severus reached the front of the line, and there he was asked for his name, he gave it, and he was ushered inside. Inside what was an excellent question. It strongly resembled a city, but it seemed to be made entirely of some sort of liquid stone. The buildings were white-gray, with shining paths between them. He couldn't quite wrap his head around it, but there were also trees everywhere. Or they looked kind of like trees. They were brown and green and very earthy, but they were moving as though there was a breeze when there clearly was not one. He felt he could see for miles, and all he could see were buildings, trees, paths, and green hills. He couldn't decide whether he was on the ground or in the sky, the place where he was standing seemed somehow transparent. He could look past his feet, and see space below it, and yet somehow he was standing on something shiny, solid, and real. He saw people walking on the paths in front of him, but he also saw people flying in the sky.

Currious, he decided to see what he was capable of. He jumped hard off the ground... Only to find he could not fall back down. Gravity, it would seem, was something that could be turned on and off at will. He spun in the air. To be able to fly without magic at all, that was something very special. Sure, he could do some tricks with his wand or on a broom, but this was different...

Finally, he discovered how to land again. He leaned forward, and gently he glided back down to floor level.

The thought came to him that he didn't know where to go or what to do now that he was here. He knew he wanted to find Lily. He wasn't sure what would happen when he did, but that was the only idea that came to him.

And then he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Ah, Severus. Good that you could come. Lemon drop?" Albus Dumbledore's voice asked, and Severus spun around to meet his gaze. "I was just talking to Harry," Dumbledore continued, "Oh, don't worry, he's not here, he just dropped in for a brief chat before going on to finish off my good friend Tom."

Severus tried not to allow his relief to surface. "So, it's over then? They've managed to vanquish... You know who?"

"Not as of yet, but I have faith in them. An incredible effort has been put up. Unfortunately, I've seen a good number more familiar faces here than I had intended to. Many casualties were faced. But I'm sure you've noticed that. Many of those who've died were very young," Albus's face looked as pale as the stone buildings around him, as he spoke, "My only regret is that so many young people will never grow to see their full potential. But they are so very brave. Sort of like you."

Severus choked a bit, and then spoke, "I'm not sure where I should go, from here."

"Very few people are, Severus my boy. Very few people are," a little girl came up to stand beside Albus. "Ah!" he began, happily. "Allow me to introduce you to my sister, Ariana. Ariana, this is one of my colleagues, Severus Snape."

The little girl looked up at Severus, smiled a bit, and then hid behind her much older looking brother.

"She's very shy. Well, Severus, if you had any family here, I'd say you should look them up. Otherwise, I'm not sure what to tell you, but I think you know what you should do." Albus had that patented Dumbledore brand twinkle in his eye. "I'm sure she's very happy to know you made it here. And very flattered that you did it entirely for her benefit. It seems there is something to courtly love after all."

Feeling embarrassed and somewhat chided, Severus merely nodded his head, waved his hand respectfully, and walked on.

He hadn't walked far before he reached a neighborhood called Spinner's End. Curious that it shared a name with his own neighborhood, he turned down it only to find that there was a mailbox with his name on it. He opened the mailbox, and inside was a key. The key read "number 712," which he assumed was the number of one of the apartments above him. He leaped off the ground and glided up to a door with a number to match his key, and then opened it. Inside there was a room, and in that room was a flat square window through the floor. He closed the door behind him, and crossed the room to that door. Through that door he saw Hogwarts, with Harry Potter standing amongst the survivors, speaking words Severus couldn't hear. There was also a chair in the room, and Severus dedided to make use of it.

He thought for a moment of what to do now. He wanted to find Lily, but he knew that even if he did, nothing would ever come of it. He was beginning to wonder if the place he'd found was really heaven, but just as these doubts were darkening his mood, he heard a knocking sound at what was now his chamber door.

He rose to answer it. Over the place where his door mat would have been hovered Lily Potter, who hurried inside and closed the door behind her. "What're we watching?" she asked, breezing past her surprised host. "Ouh, Harry's on!"

"What?" Severus asked, confused.

"Oh, this window shows you whatever you want to see on Earth, be it your living relatives, professional sports, or an ongoing battle. James and I watch Harry sometimes, but generally there are other things to do, and he did like to watch Sirius and Remus towards the end. When things were a little happier for them. Well, until they died of course, then there was nothing good on, so James doesn't watch the window with me much."

"I see," said Severus, feeling a bit overwhelmed. "So is that all you've been up to?"

"No, there's plenty to do here. Practically everything you've ever heard of on earth is here, except without the potential death part," Lily said, smiling in a way that made Severus want to call her a liar. "James isn't much for leaving the apartment, except now he's out with his friends. They're all together again, now."

"I noticed that on the way in," Severus said. "Ran into Lupin, Tonks, and Black."

"I haven't met Tonks yet. Does she really prefer that to Nymphamadora?" Lily asked, perplexed. "Tonks is a pretty dreadful sounding name too, if you were to ask me, but I'm sure noone will."

Severus chuckled at her, in spite of himself. "It has been by far too long. I should have polished myself off years ago, I've missed your company immensely."

"I'm glad that you didn't. You've done so much for my Harry," she smiled at him wistfully. "I wish I had been wise enough to forgive you all those years ago... If I had, maybe things would be different now."

"I fear they may have been far worse in the long run," Severus said, carefully.

"Can I tell you a secret?" she asked him, in a hushed, low voice.

He leaned forward, and then nodded.

"I would have chosen you, had you asked me to."

Severus didn't know that there were tears in heaven before he felt hers on his cheek.

Somewhere below their feet, Harry Potter wept for lost friends. George Weasley held his dead brother's hand. Teddy Tonks cried for a mother who would never come to him. But above them all, they were watched by those who loved them. The dead grieved for the living.


End file.
